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A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her.
She goes out and buys a gun.
She then goes to his apartment unexpectedly and sure enough,
she opens the door and finds him in the arms of a redhead.
Well, now she's angry! She opens her purse to take out the gun but as she does so, she is overcome with grief.
She takes the gun and points to her head.
The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!"
"Shut up," she says, "You're next."
When the surgeon came to see his blonde patient on the day after her operation,
the blonde asked him somewhat hesitantly just how long it would be before she could resume her sex life.
"Uh, I hadn't really thought about it" replied the stunned surgeon.
"You're the first one ever to ask me that after a tonsillectomy."
A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY.
The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.
The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00,
and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00."
This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"
The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer.
Okay says the lawyer, it's your turn.
She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"
The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches
the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends Emails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail.
After an hour, he wakes the now sleeping blonde, and hands her $500.00.
The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep.
The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"
Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, and hands the lawyer $5.00.
A young man came home from the office and found his blonde bride sobbing uncontrollably.
"I feel awful," she cried. "While I was pressing your suit, I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers."
"Don't worry about it," consoled her husband. "Remember that I have an extra pair of pants for that suitcoat."
"Yes, and it's a darn good thing you do, too," she replied, drying her eyes. "I used them to patch the hole."
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